I'd like to take a moment to say a few things on my mind.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol. Whew, glad thats off my chest. Now high ho high ho! Its off to the week I go!
Showing posts with label a melanie moment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label a melanie moment. Show all posts
Monday, February 14, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
I finally had one!
I beleive in meltdowns.
Most of the time I stay fairly well composed, I hold it all togther, I function, I acheive, and I preform my heart out. And I Do my best. Well, wake up-best is never enough ever because I'm human and so from time to time, when I drop the ball, and mother nature decides to remind me of my humanity, I let out a good cry. Poor lysie didn't know what to do. So she sang me some songs, gave me a hug and blew me a kiss. That helped. But I still couldn't help myself from sobbing-I was also laughing while I was sobbing because of how rediculous I am. But, it felt good. I was trying to not cry when talking to travis on the phone, but that doesn't work really well. Physiologically speaking, sobbing and laughing are the same. I was a mess, and the dear wonderful boy just let me be rediculous without judging or trying to fix me. Thats all I needed. I knew he cared and I assured him I would be fine in the morning. Life goes on. He was so sweet though tonight, he brought me in the left over steak-and didn't eat before I got out of class to join him. And then when I was home and sobbing and crying and laughing uncontrollably my mommy opened her arms and let me join her in a good snuggle on the couch. I'm so blessed.
Most of the time I stay fairly well composed, I hold it all togther, I function, I acheive, and I preform my heart out. And I Do my best. Well, wake up-best is never enough ever because I'm human and so from time to time, when I drop the ball, and mother nature decides to remind me of my humanity, I let out a good cry. Poor lysie didn't know what to do. So she sang me some songs, gave me a hug and blew me a kiss. That helped. But I still couldn't help myself from sobbing-I was also laughing while I was sobbing because of how rediculous I am. But, it felt good. I was trying to not cry when talking to travis on the phone, but that doesn't work really well. Physiologically speaking, sobbing and laughing are the same. I was a mess, and the dear wonderful boy just let me be rediculous without judging or trying to fix me. Thats all I needed. I knew he cared and I assured him I would be fine in the morning. Life goes on. He was so sweet though tonight, he brought me in the left over steak-and didn't eat before I got out of class to join him. And then when I was home and sobbing and crying and laughing uncontrollably my mommy opened her arms and let me join her in a good snuggle on the couch. I'm so blessed.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Red heads have no soul!
Apples to Apples. A harmless game? Maybe. But I'm a competitive person.
The word:
Friendly
My Word: AIDS. (I KNOW! I shock myself!) I'm a horrible person! My Argument: Its a virus, it sticks with you! (And I had a reaallly bad hand)
The Word:
Unscrupulous
My Word: Women. My arguement: I did it to win! (which I did, a guy was judging that one)
The Word:
Dirty
My Word: Handcuffs. (I had figured at this point there was no hope for me)
After the first two cards though, I wasn't given a break at all that night. Pretty much anytime anyone put something in that was remotely inappropriate or evil I was blamed. And, ask anyone there, I proved the theory that Redheads have no souls.
The word:
Friendly
My Word: AIDS. (I KNOW! I shock myself!) I'm a horrible person! My Argument: Its a virus, it sticks with you! (And I had a reaallly bad hand)
The Word:
Unscrupulous
My Word: Women. My arguement: I did it to win! (which I did, a guy was judging that one)
The Word:
Dirty
My Word: Handcuffs. (I had figured at this point there was no hope for me)
After the first two cards though, I wasn't given a break at all that night. Pretty much anytime anyone put something in that was remotely inappropriate or evil I was blamed. And, ask anyone there, I proved the theory that Redheads have no souls.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
December!!!!
So, I don't know where the year went-but its now December so the greif I should feel at yet another year gone is overwhelmed by the excitement of the Holiday Season! I'm SO excited, it hit me in class when I went to write the date and it was 12/1/2010 that it was December. Just 25 days till Christmas! And my Birthday is on Friday. Which let me tell you, I'm not too happy about only being 21 and having forehead wrinkles already. I blame the fun I had in the California Sun this summer. I got a few really good sunburns, and the Ultraviolet light did its toll. :P Bleh. But, still, 21 eh? I could go rent a car, I could not go to bar-they both rhyme but they wouldn't be a crime! HAH! Jk, I won't ever be going to a bar, and I don't have the money to rent a car. But don't worry, I will be celebrating. Travis is taking the evening off from work and we'll go to dinner (probably with my family too) and then I talked him into going to the Newest Harry Potter with me, and get this, hehe-dressing up as Wizards! I'm also opening the invite to any who wish to come, just you have to dress like a wizard too! So, spread the word and dust off your wands! I'll update on Facebook what time we'll go to the movie, I'm thinking Imax at 7pm Friday, the 3rd. YAY! (PS, Travis is gonna be Harry and I'm gonna be Ginny! hehehehe)
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Long Story Short:
I'm an optimist, a Ballroom Dancer, Big sister, a friend, a goofball, a student, a dreamer, and I'm a mormon.
Friend was talking to me, suggested I make one of those profiles on mormon.org. This is as far as I've gotten so far. I'll let you know when I have the rest of it together.
Friend was talking to me, suggested I make one of those profiles on mormon.org. This is as far as I've gotten so far. I'll let you know when I have the rest of it together.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
How do you solve a problem like Melanie?
I feel like this song from the sound of Music sometimes.
You know, the one that goes "How do you solve a problem like maria, how do you catch a wave upon the sand, and how do you hold a moonbeam in your hand??"
Theres a part of the chorus that goes:
You know, the one that goes "How do you solve a problem like maria, how do you catch a wave upon the sand, and how do you hold a moonbeam in your hand??"
Theres a part of the chorus that goes:
She is gentle
She is wild
She's a riddle
She's a child
She's a headache
She's an angel
She's a girl!!
And many another part of that song I feel like they might as well be singing about me. However, thats what makes me SO thankful for my family, my friends and all the patient people who love me.
The only way I can explain myself sometimes is that I'm a girl. And as such I'm prone to emotional feelings that I don't quite know how to interpret and handle yet, so thank you for bearing with me!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Oh What a beautiful morning!
Actually, this morning was NOT very pretty. IT was drab and gray and not at all like the last few mornings, and I almost let that get me down. But, Victory! I'm in high spirits! I guess It started with last week and my long overdue attitude adjustment. Cuz guess what, when you become appriciative of all your blessings that you generally take for granted, Heavenly Father is so much more willing to bless you more!
Its reminds me of this one time, my 2nd semester at school in Idaho-all my roommates were kinda neat freaks. Erin admitted to just not looking in my room (she also admitted to being a bit compulsive, and having to have everything at right angles and in its proper place) but all of them, Emilia, Dana, Erin, and Raquel were pretty good at tidying up. I like to think that I'm pretty good about it, I don't have anything growing, just mostly lazy as far as putting clothes into a hamper and papers in a nice pile.....and I don't make my bed much either (working on that right now). Anyways, there was this one sunday when everything was adding up, and I was stressed about my to do list-on the top of the list was teaching RS lesson that day-on come what may and love it. On my way out the door, the stupid toilet overflowed-which I cleaned up but in a rush job. I knew when I got home from church I needed to mop the floor with bleach water. So, after church though, a million other things came up, and it was getting late and I still hadn't had time to bleach the floor, and Dana and Erin were being kinda obnoxious reminding me about it, and so when I finally was able to start it, they made a huge deal about oh FINALLY and blah blah blah and it was just SUPER Frustrating. I had the attitude, if you wanted it done 5 hrs ago, you could've done it. And its not like they were walking on the floor directly, in the meantime I laid down my clean towels-so I was annoyed because I was doing the best I could and they didn't seem very appriciative or helpful. Anyways, the next day, when I got back from class, I found on my desk a note from our dear sweet Erin-expressing apology and grattitude for the night before. I'll tell ya what, it changed my attitude, and from then on out, I was much more willing to do more of my share, and to make those sorts of things more of a priority. Moral of the story: Same goes for HEavenly Father.
As evidence of this gratitude blessings principal, let me tell you what has happened in the short week since my attitude adjustment.
First, right away I was happier. And that directly affected my relationships-there were some apolgies I needed to give out to several people whom I love. And, though they had some fault also, It didn't matter so much to me, and it still doesn't. I feel better because I know that part of the problem was me, and I'm taking actions to fix it and make it better. Heavenly Father helped me to see that.
Second, going to work ( I might have shared this already) I found myself perfectly content. I havn't really liked my job since I started it a year ago-theres some perks, but several times I was ready to quite. However, I don't hate it so much. Again, attitude adjustment, even though I don't plan to be at the car rental for forever, and people there still do obnoxious things, it doesn't bother me so much. Cuz, that doesn't really matter.
Third, several peices of life fell into place. I know what I'm doing for school. And, I'm doing it in half the time I thought it would take! Also, I know how to accomplish my dance goals, and I'm more confident in my ability to accomplish them. I learned of several oppoutunities last week-I'll be in Livermore Cali this summer, and living w/my uncle so I can nanny my cousin, and theres a dance studio 3 miles away. :) LOVE IT! I'm not sure on details but I want to either intern there, work there, or just take classes there. Get some expirience so that when I come back to Fairbanks next fall, I can try and teach some classes! Then theres another studio that I want to go work with after I finnish the MA program, and from what I read, it sounds like after working with them for 3 yrs, your practically ready to open your own studio franchise! Sounds like my cup of tea! Woohoo!
Fourth, Conflicts and problems that arose during the week jsut didn't fase me as much. I still have concerns and worries, but they're not as big a deal now, because I know that Heavenly Father loves me, and that conflicts and worries are part of mortality. The other Part of Mortality is living happily in spite of them. And so thats What I'm gonna try and do. So, YAHOO!
Its just interesting to me that all these little peices came together only after I gave thanks for my blessings. I'm certain it had everything to do with that. It was no coincedence. I've been trying to figure it all out for a LONG time, the last time I felt so certain and sure and happy about everything was......a while ago. I used to think that the summer after my graduation wasthe happiest time of my life, but in retrospect, the happiest times of my life are the times I'm being thankful for what i have. The times when I'm unhappy is when I'm not focusing on my blessings, or the things that I presently have. One of my weaknesses is to get down on myself because I get ahead of myself. I wish for things to be in this perfect happy state that will happen eventually-but if your so fucused on eventuallies, you can't truly appriciate or enjoy now. And now, is glorious. Now is hard, but beautiful and exciting. Why should I wish I could just fast foward to when things will be like I've always dreamed they would be? Half the excitment of life is the anticipation of how it will be-so enjoy that anticipation. Things never seem to turn out the way I expect them to anyways, so when I do get to where I want to be, I'll be a different person and will want something else, so if I'm to be happy, I gotta enjoy now. I guess thats it.
Its reminds me of this one time, my 2nd semester at school in Idaho-all my roommates were kinda neat freaks. Erin admitted to just not looking in my room (she also admitted to being a bit compulsive, and having to have everything at right angles and in its proper place) but all of them, Emilia, Dana, Erin, and Raquel were pretty good at tidying up. I like to think that I'm pretty good about it, I don't have anything growing, just mostly lazy as far as putting clothes into a hamper and papers in a nice pile.....and I don't make my bed much either (working on that right now). Anyways, there was this one sunday when everything was adding up, and I was stressed about my to do list-on the top of the list was teaching RS lesson that day-on come what may and love it. On my way out the door, the stupid toilet overflowed-which I cleaned up but in a rush job. I knew when I got home from church I needed to mop the floor with bleach water. So, after church though, a million other things came up, and it was getting late and I still hadn't had time to bleach the floor, and Dana and Erin were being kinda obnoxious reminding me about it, and so when I finally was able to start it, they made a huge deal about oh FINALLY and blah blah blah and it was just SUPER Frustrating. I had the attitude, if you wanted it done 5 hrs ago, you could've done it. And its not like they were walking on the floor directly, in the meantime I laid down my clean towels-so I was annoyed because I was doing the best I could and they didn't seem very appriciative or helpful. Anyways, the next day, when I got back from class, I found on my desk a note from our dear sweet Erin-expressing apology and grattitude for the night before. I'll tell ya what, it changed my attitude, and from then on out, I was much more willing to do more of my share, and to make those sorts of things more of a priority. Moral of the story: Same goes for HEavenly Father.
As evidence of this gratitude blessings principal, let me tell you what has happened in the short week since my attitude adjustment.
First, right away I was happier. And that directly affected my relationships-there were some apolgies I needed to give out to several people whom I love. And, though they had some fault also, It didn't matter so much to me, and it still doesn't. I feel better because I know that part of the problem was me, and I'm taking actions to fix it and make it better. Heavenly Father helped me to see that.
Second, going to work ( I might have shared this already) I found myself perfectly content. I havn't really liked my job since I started it a year ago-theres some perks, but several times I was ready to quite. However, I don't hate it so much. Again, attitude adjustment, even though I don't plan to be at the car rental for forever, and people there still do obnoxious things, it doesn't bother me so much. Cuz, that doesn't really matter.
Third, several peices of life fell into place. I know what I'm doing for school. And, I'm doing it in half the time I thought it would take! Also, I know how to accomplish my dance goals, and I'm more confident in my ability to accomplish them. I learned of several oppoutunities last week-I'll be in Livermore Cali this summer, and living w/my uncle so I can nanny my cousin, and theres a dance studio 3 miles away. :) LOVE IT! I'm not sure on details but I want to either intern there, work there, or just take classes there. Get some expirience so that when I come back to Fairbanks next fall, I can try and teach some classes! Then theres another studio that I want to go work with after I finnish the MA program, and from what I read, it sounds like after working with them for 3 yrs, your practically ready to open your own studio franchise! Sounds like my cup of tea! Woohoo!
Fourth, Conflicts and problems that arose during the week jsut didn't fase me as much. I still have concerns and worries, but they're not as big a deal now, because I know that Heavenly Father loves me, and that conflicts and worries are part of mortality. The other Part of Mortality is living happily in spite of them. And so thats What I'm gonna try and do. So, YAHOO!
Its just interesting to me that all these little peices came together only after I gave thanks for my blessings. I'm certain it had everything to do with that. It was no coincedence. I've been trying to figure it all out for a LONG time, the last time I felt so certain and sure and happy about everything was......a while ago. I used to think that the summer after my graduation wasthe happiest time of my life, but in retrospect, the happiest times of my life are the times I'm being thankful for what i have. The times when I'm unhappy is when I'm not focusing on my blessings, or the things that I presently have. One of my weaknesses is to get down on myself because I get ahead of myself. I wish for things to be in this perfect happy state that will happen eventually-but if your so fucused on eventuallies, you can't truly appriciate or enjoy now. And now, is glorious. Now is hard, but beautiful and exciting. Why should I wish I could just fast foward to when things will be like I've always dreamed they would be? Half the excitment of life is the anticipation of how it will be-so enjoy that anticipation. Things never seem to turn out the way I expect them to anyways, so when I do get to where I want to be, I'll be a different person and will want something else, so if I'm to be happy, I gotta enjoy now. I guess thats it.
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