I finally had one!

I beleive in meltdowns.

Most of the time I stay fairly well composed, I hold it all togther, I function, I acheive, and I preform my heart out.  And I Do my best.  Well, wake up-best is never enough ever because I'm human and so from time to time, when I drop the ball, and mother nature decides to remind me of my humanity, I let out a good cry.  Poor lysie didn't know what to do.  So she sang me some songs, gave me a hug and blew me a kiss.  That helped.  But I still couldn't help myself from sobbing-I was also laughing while I was sobbing because of how rediculous I am.  But, it felt good.  I was trying to not cry when talking to travis on the phone, but that doesn't work really well.  Physiologically speaking, sobbing and laughing are the same.  I was a mess, and the dear wonderful boy just let me be rediculous without judging or trying to fix me.  Thats all I needed.  I knew he cared and I assured him I would be fine in the morning.  Life goes on.  He was so sweet though tonight, he brought me in the left over steak-and didn't eat before I got out of class to join him.  And then when I was home and sobbing and crying and laughing uncontrollably my mommy opened her arms and let me join her in a good snuggle on the couch.  I'm so blessed.

Mothers Day

So, today I was asked to speak at church on my thoughts and feelings from Elder Christofferson's visit, and with is also being Mothers Day, the best way I could think to go with it, was Charity.  Charity is the pure Love of Christ-as the scriptures declare, "And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?  And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.  Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.  And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart.  If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.  And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen." (Moroni 7:40-48)

Mothers are special, but mine is extra special.

She has always been an example of charity-a pure love that transcends earthy limits.  Because of Charity, she has been a fountain of selfless service.  After my dad died, she had to raise 3 grieving girls while dealing with her own grief.  She had to go back to school-and she did a paper route from 2-7 am to support us.  She was doing it for years before, but she didn't drop it when she started school.  I remember us telling her "Mom just major in Music, thats what you love!" But she did accounting, despite the hours of long hard homework because she knew she could get it done sooner and make a secure income-and she did it for us.  She  has taught me so much just by her constant example and her unwaivering faith.  She doesn't express it very often through words, but I know it because of her life and who she is and by how she responds to the trials she faces.  I would say she's been my rock, but I think she did something even more wonderful for me, she taught me how to turn to Christ as my rock.

To my mom, and all the mothers I know,   Have a Happy Mothers day!   I love you for all that you are and all that you do!