Summer 2010 some of now and then (part 2)

okay, so that last blog was mostly about This upcoming summer and now, so onto the then part.  I guess lately I've jsut been sentimental.  Nostalogic?  Idk.  It started with Travis asking me a question--no not the question--I guess he was actually stating how he wishes sometimes that life were as easy as it was when we were little, before responsibility came into the picture and all that good stuff.  And It just got me thinking about everything-I mean everything.  That day we shared some of our earliest memories.  I've attempted multiple times to record some of them I've had just since that chat, but I haven't been able to put it into context.  So, we'll save that for another blog.  But, what I want to get out now is just how everything comes back full circle.  When Amanda and Jordan were first married they lived in this apartment above the warehouse where our dad died.  Sue Hull, Amanda's mother in law at first said that it wasn't an option for them because it would be too hard for Amanda but she stood up and said no, its coming full circle.  I think theres a point when everything we go to begins to tie together and make sense.  I used to think Amanda was crazy, but now this coming full circle is gaining new meaning to me.  Its interesting how if you asked me a year ago who I would want to have in the place where my dad would be in the temple is, the last name I would have given you is Rulon Jensen.  Now, I can't think of anyone else I would rather have there.  Its interesting how Fairbanks, the place where all my darkest expiriences have happened, would hold the sweetest memories in my heart.  Travis another day commented on how strange it is for him to think that all my memories are here in this town-he grew up in an Army family and has been all over the world-but I lived in once place.  My address only changed when I lived in Idaho a grand total of   28 weeks-coming home to 50 below that first Christmas was the greatest feeling as I drove down my road with the snow covered trees bending inward creating a winter snowtunnel-sparkly pure white snow.  And then as I was reminsing the other day I looked out my window to my familiar backyard, remembering other times I looked out my window, longing for things to be better.  Wishing I had greater understanding of this confusing thing we call life.  My room I sleep in now, is the only room that survived the remodeling of our home with the same wall measurements and arrangements, its also the same room I was in when my mom and my aunt and my grama and Uncle came home from the hospital when my dad was taken off the life support.  Its the same room Robin and I kept clean for three months so we could get tree frogs. It used to have a smaller window, and a white bookshelf was under it, which was great for climbing so I could see out the window-or so me and Robin could spy on our aunt Renee while she kissed boys out in the swing set we called the "Love shack."  Today in another convo with Travis, he got me thinking about my dad.  I only remember the stories people tell me, but now as I'm older I can appriciate them better-to the point where I know that Travis would have loved my dad and my dad would have loved Travis. I know it not just because I loved my dad and still think of him the way any 8 year old would (forgive me but those are the only memories that I can call mine) but because I understand them both.

Man, usually I don't start thinking about these things this much till May comes around-but I guess sometimes I really just wish he was here.  I know the Lord has blessed us and that he has his reasons for letting us face the trials we have, but I guess like Travis said, sometimes I just wish I could be young and carefree again.  Go back to the time when I didn't know pain or grief or responsibility.   I've always been pretty happy with where I'm at though-and I do look forward to all the exciting things life has instore.  I guess I've learned enough that I can also look forward to my trials.  Doesn't mean I'll enjoy them, but I know that I'm capable and I know that through them I'll discover the greatest joy because there is oppostition in all things.  We can't know sweet if there isn't any bitter in opposition to it.

I love my Saviour Jesus Christ, and my Father in Heaven.  I know that they love me and help me.  I know that families can be together forever.  I'm so proud of my sisters-Robin and Amanda and the examples they are to me.  And so thankful for my dear Mother who is ever enduring-she amazes me and teaches me by her example.  Also for my sweet stepfather who always does what he can to help, to make things better and make things right and expects the best from me.  I love my precious beautiful baby sister who though she has a hard time listening is a walking miracle and a testimony of our Father and Saviours love, and my sweet sweet little brother who brightens up any day.  I'm greatful for friends with whom I can connect and learn from-that always see the best in me, and love me despite my worst.  I hope to someday become at least half of what they all expect of me-cuz that person would be pretty awesome.  Lastly, I'll just declare how much I love and appriciate Travis and his wonderful patience, kindness, tenderness and humor.  He makes me happy.

With that, I call it a night.
Love,  Melanie

Summer 2010, some of now and then

(In case you didn't get it from the title, I like ryhmes)


Okay, so the last few days I've atempted to be really eloquent in expressing the sentimental feelings I've recently been flooded with, but turns out I'm not that eloquent.  And right now, I'm in no mood for remincing-which is wierd because everything the last few days has reminded me of everything.  It started with a comment Travis made.  :P  I love that boy.  


Anyways, The reason I'm in no mood for reminicing is because I'm so excited about all the adventures that are coming up.  Idk if I put it in here or not, if I have, bear with me, but I'm just so happy to finally be having a plan, a solid set plan for school.  Two years from Now, I'll be done....for a while anyways.  I'll be employable.  I guess I never really see myself being completely done with school....I'll always wanna know more and I see classes scattered about here and there.....but anyways, not only school though is making me happy.  Another thing, is this summer.  Earlier this week I was getting really depressed about having to spend another summer behind the dumb car rental counter (its really much more stressfull than it should be) and being there for hours upon hours, and always missing the sunshine and this fun or that fun cuz I have to go to bed to get up in the morning for work, when out of the blue my Uncle sends me a message inquiring about helping him this summer as a nanny for my cousin-in California!  HECK YES!  The more I think about it, the better it sounds.  2 months of sunshine and playing with a hilarious little 6 year old boy-I think it sounds like a plan!   The other best part about it, is Travis might be getting an internship in San Fansico with the Lucas Arts Jedi Academy.  From what my Uncle says, I would be 40 mins away by light rail.  I'm thinking, this is good. 


 The only thing I'm worried about is actually something I'm not to worried about.  I know that might sound vague, but I don't want to jinx anything that might be brewing.  :)  hehehe....It seems to me like all my patience is paying off and things are starting to fall into place.  :)  YAY!

The Swing of Things

So, I'm still trying to get the hang of this.  I forgot to mention in the "Long Time no Blog" blog-that Last month was AMAZING!  One of the most intense months I've had in a while, but oh so great!  Here's what happened:

     On February 12, my big sister Robin, was set apart as a full time missionary.  For the next 18 months she will be known as Sister Johnson to the people of Fresno California (and surrounding areas).  The very next day (or just later that night) we hopped on a plan to Boise Idaho, as the first of many stops on one super vacation.  Once in Boise we drove to our Uncle Dennis' Hotel where we got to visit him and his family.  Even Cooler, was that at 2pm Dennis and his wife and 4 daughters went through the Boise Idaho Temple to be sealed as a family for all eternity!   I was the designated babysitter of a very sleepy Elyse and Liam, but I hear it was a beautiful ceremony and I know that Families can be together forever.
      To be honest, it was really REALLY hard for me to sit in the car while my mom, sisters, brother in law, grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins all went into the temple without me-I couldn't help but to cry because I so badly wanted to go in.  The Temple for those who don't know, is the most beautiful, sacred and peaceful place anyone could go.  Its is where we go to be sealed as families and to make covenants with our Heavenly Father-two way promises between us and the Lord.  We promise our Faith and Obedience to his laws and commandments, and he promises blessings unmeasured, and I can testify that he always holds up his end of the deal.  I have been so immeasurably blessed because of the covenants I have made-like my baptismal covenants-and the covenants my parents have made, like the marriage covenant in the temple-I can't even begin to describe it.  I look forward to the time when I get to go to the temple and make those sacred covenants.
      After the temple, we all went to Chuck-o-Rama for dinner.  It was so nice to see my Johnson family again. Wish that everyone had been able to be there, but the Following Tuesday we did get to go to dinner with Karla and Roger, whom I must say, I love so much.  They're just fun!  On Sunday of our Trip all of the Elmers came to Tremonton and we just had a fun relaxing evening with Cousins and aunts and Uncles.  I sometimes hate being so far away, but it definitely makes the visits that much sweeter.  I believe we saw almost every Elmer but those in Arizona, the Charbonneau's in Washington, and a few cousins who are scattered about at school.  It was again, so nice to see everyone!

     On Wednesday we were in Provo, and we dropped Robin off at the Missionary Training Center (MTC).  She was SO nervous, she couldn't eat lunch before she went in, but when we got there two strapping young Elders in Suits helped her with her bags, and then as she was escorted in a group of 10 or more gathered around.  She had two large bags but noticed that everyone else was only carrying 1 bag-after talking to a friend who reports in a couple of weeks, I understood.  He's going to some Islands close to Africa, and he has a single bag limit that must be 44 lbs or less because of boats from island to island.  Good thing Robin is staying state side, I know I couldn't condense it to one 44 lb bag either!
   The rest of the trip just included visiting family and Friends. I was happy to spend time with Amanda and Jordan-they both graduate from BYU in May and then will be headed out to wherever work takes them.  We probably won't see them as often from now on.  And we spent lots of time with Grama and Grampa Elmer.  Grampa has Amyloid Heart Disease and congestive heart failure.  He was diagnosed last summer and we don't know how long we still have him, so seeing him again was so good.  I also got to run up to Rexburg for a quicker than quick visit to see some of my former roommates and friends!  Those girls make me happy, and thanks goes to Ariel and David for the couch and food!

    Our last leg of the trip was an overnight layover in LA so that Elyse and Liam could meet their Grandma and Grandpa Jensen.  The day we flew home was Liam's 1st B-day.  Elyse got sick so we didn't have the cupcakes that Grandma Jensen had, but that doesn't matter.  The grandparents met the kids and they let us on the plane!

Long Time no Blog

   SPRING is a time of new begginings yes?  Well Spring Break is finally here and I started the break by cleaning the kitchen!  YAY!  And baking some yummy Banna Bread...actually, I'm not sure if its yummy or not yet because mom's piano student is here and I don't want to share....so I'm holding off.
    I'm almost done with my first year at UAF.  Which let me tell you, it has been quite the learning expirience.   Not so much an educational expirience-though there definately has been some of that, but a life learning expirience.  Moving back in with Parents is rough.  But I'm so glad I did.  I've grown in ways I wouldn't have imagined.  Being back in Fairbanks and working on my relationship with Travis, has been a different sort of rough-but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I've really missed all the dancing I was able to do in Idaho, but I'm finally formulating an educational plan that will work!  The Dental Hygiene thing, I've been pretty excited about.  It was all going to work out, and I was going to be all done with my pre-requisites this may, but then turns out that they won't be accepting a class of 6 new dental hygene students this fall.  LAME!  I even took a summer math class to try and get on track.  Blah!  Anyways, so I was kinda wandering around for a few months trying to figure out what to do for a year of school and then I heard about the Medical Assisting Program!  With everything I've done for Dental Hygiene I'll be ready to start the program either this summer or this fall and I'll be done in 2 years!  YAY!  And I think it sounds like way more fun and will be much more interesting than cleaning teeth.  There will also be more oppoutunity to go further later on.  To be honest though I was excited about it, Dental Hygiene sounded kinda like a dead end.  Medical Assisting is a means to more-I like more!  Also, there will be no question as to where I'll get heath insurance.  Though someone pointed out that if the national health reform happens I shouldn't have to worry about it anyways...but in the meantime knowing that anywhere I go as a medical Assistant I'll have good health insurance available is a comfort. Especially with all my lame asthma medicine.  Which BTW-is another story.
    I was allergy tested about a week and a half ago and turns out I'm allergic to not only dogs, but cats, horses, guinea pigs, hampsters, cockroaches (go figure), a couple of different trees and a few types of grasses.  My new doctor, Dr Foote is the allergy asthma specialist in Fairbanks and he's got me on this new "Asthma Action Plan" and higher doses of advair and wants to start me on Allergy Shots.  The goal is "Airway remodling" cuz I can't breath as well as I thought I could.  He labeled my asthma as Severe Persistent, which is the worst he said.  He also told me about a 21 yr old girl who died in Fairbanks Last summer from Asthma problems.  Kinda scary, but the visits to doctor Foote have been very educational and hope inspiring.  I may be able to find relief yet!

In the meantime, HAPPY SPRING!

Joseph B Wirthlin is my hero. This was his last public address to the world. He delivered his message from a chair behind the pulpit due to illness-and then died 2 months later. Here's a video summary of his talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVNYhcYEwIE&feature=related And here's the full talk:

Come What May, and Love It

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

When I was young I loved playing sports, and I have many fond memories of those days. But not all of them are pleasant. I remember one day after my football team lost a tough game, I came home feeling discouraged. My mother was there. She listened to my sad story. She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.

When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.

“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”

I have often reflected on that counsel.

I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.

There may be some who think that General Authorities rarely experience pain, suffering, or distress. If only that were true. While every man and woman on this stand today has experienced an abundant measure of joy, each also has drunk deeply from the cup of disappointment, sorrow, and loss. The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness.

For me, the Lord has opened the windows of heaven and showered blessings upon my family beyond my ability to express. Yet like everyone else, I have had times in my life when it seemed that the heaviness of my heart might be greater than I could bear. During those times I think back to those tender days of my youth when great sorrows came at the losing end of a football game.

How little I knew then of what awaited me in later years. But whenever my steps led through seasons of sadness and sorrow, my mother’s words often came back to me: “Come what may, and love it.”

How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me through times of testing and trial. I would like to share them with you.

Learn to Laugh

The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. Have you ever seen an angry driver who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog, and his ancestors all the way back to Adam? Or have you had an encounter with an overhanging cupboard door left open at the wrong place and the wrong time which has been cursed, condemned, and avenged by a sore-headed victim?

There is an antidote for times such as these: learn to laugh.

I remember loading up our children in a station wagon and driving to Los Angeles. There were at least nine of us in the car, and we would invariably get lost. Instead of getting angry, we laughed. Every time we made a wrong turn, we laughed harder.

Getting lost was not an unusual occurrence for us. Once while heading south to Cedar City, Utah, we took a wrong turn and didn’t realize it until two hours later when we saw the “Welcome to Nevada” signs. We didn’t get angry. We laughed, and as a result, anger and resentment rarely resulted. Our laughter created cherished memories for us.

I remember when one of our daughters went on a blind date. She was all dressed up and waiting for her date to arrive when the doorbell rang. In walked a man who seemed a little old, but she tried to be polite. She introduced him to me and my wife and the other children; then she put on her coat and went out the door. We watched as she got into the car, but the car didn’t move. Eventually our daughter got out of the car and, red faced, ran back into the house. The man that she thought was her blind date had actually come to pick up another of our daughters who had agreed to be a babysitter for him and his wife.

We all had a good laugh over that. In fact, we couldn’t stop laughing. Later, when our daughter’s real blind date showed up, I couldn’t come out to meet him because I was still in the kitchen laughing. Now I realize that our daughter could have felt humiliated and embarrassed. But she laughed with us, and as a result, we still laugh about it today.

The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.

Seek for the Eternal

The second thing we can do is seek for the eternal. You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me?”

But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.

I love the scriptures because they show examples of great and noble men and women such as Abraham, Sarah, Enoch, Moses, Joseph, Emma, and Brigham. Each of them experienced adversity and sorrow that tried, fortified, and refined their characters.

Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.

Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.

Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”¹

With that eternal perspective, Joseph took comfort from these words, and so can we. Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.

The Principle of Compensation

The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails. I have seen this in my own life. My grandson Joseph has autism. It has been heartbreaking for his mother and father to come to grips with the implications of this affliction.

They knew that Joseph would probably never be like other children. They understood what that would mean not only for Joseph but for the family as well. But what a joy he has been to us. Autistic children often have a difficult time showing emotion, but every time I’m with him, Joseph gives me a big hug. While there have been challenges, he has filled our lives with joy.

His parents have encouraged him to participate in sports. When he first started playing baseball, he was in the outfield. But I don’t think he grasped the need to run after loose balls. He thought of a much more efficient way to play the game. When a ball was hit in his direction, Joseph watched it go by and then pulled another baseball out of his pocket and threw that one to the pitcher.

Any reservations that his family may have had in raising Joseph, any sacrifices they have made have been compensated tenfold. Because of this choice spirit, his mother and father have learned much about children with disabilities. They have witnessed firsthand the generosity and compassion of family, neighbors, and friends. They have rejoiced together as Joseph has progressed. They have marveled at his goodness.

Trust in the Father and the Son

The fourth thing we can do is put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”² The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.

He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong.³

One of our daughters, after giving birth to a baby, became seriously ill. We prayed for her, administered to her, and supported her as best we could. We hoped she would receive a blessing of healing, but days turned into months, and months turned into years. At one point I told her that this affliction might be something she would have to struggle with the rest of her life.

One morning I remember pulling out a small card and threading it through my typewriter. Among the words that I typed for her were these: “The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.”

She did put her trust in God. But her affliction did not disappear. For years she suffered, but in due course, the Lord blessed her, and eventually she returned to health.

Knowing this daughter, I believe that even if she had never found relief, yet she would have trusted in her Heavenly Father and “[left] the rest to Him.”

Conclusion

Although my mother has long since passed to her eternal reward, her words are always with me. I still remember her advice to me given on that day long ago when my team lost a football game: “Come what may, and love it.”

I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it.

As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what may, and love it.” Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

NOTES 1. D&C 121:7–8. 2. John 3:16. 3. See Ether 12:27.